9 Real Thoughts, 1 Week Postpartum

I don't think I need to go into detail about what a convoluted experience it is to have a baby. I think trying to explain the emotional part of it is something I would be terrible at.

Instead, I wrote down some real thoughts that either traveled through my real brain or really came out of my mouth the first week after Alice was born. Before I had a baby, I didn't think a list like this would be that interesting. However, I myself was shocked at the things I thought and said during that first week. And I'd like you all to be shocked with me.

"I feel like I've lost an appendage to my body. And now that appendage is mad at me for cutting it off."

"Why don't they make you take some sort of stamina or capability test before you're allowed to reproduce?"

"How in the name of yellow poo does everyone have at least one person that kept them alive long enough to be semi-independent?"

"Why don't more people just give up on parenting?" 

"What is motivating me to keep this baby alive and relatively content?" 

"Am I still alive?" 

"Will this baby wet their pants more in their entire life than I have in the last two weeks? Doubt it."

"I don't think time is moving. I'm 90% certain that we are in some weird time warp/continuum thing and it is standing still in this time and we just happened to have a baby right before time stopped and now we're stuck here. Forever."

"Whoa, that's a cute baby. Maybe they should've DNA tested to make sure she was ours before we left the hospital. No, she's probably ours."

Ya. I know--crazy. I think we use the word crazy pretty lightly nowadays but this is a time when it is not being used lightly. Crazy.

Here are a couple pictures of that cute baby, and two very tired parents.